ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
