the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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