Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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