wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
