Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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