I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
