thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
