'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
