Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.