In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
