So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.