He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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