it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
