Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
