You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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