What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize