My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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