We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
