just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
