I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize