My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
