oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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