I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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