so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Panties = found
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
