This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
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all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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