"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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