theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
