You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
