Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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