they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hippo gnu deer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
