I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
