cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
