Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
