oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
