I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
