White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have post one night stand depression
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