I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
