If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
