Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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