There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
