no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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