you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
