if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
