He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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