I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
