Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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