he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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