p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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