Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
