You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
