Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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