walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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