They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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