come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
