at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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