You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
