Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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