Kiss
Puke
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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