y did u give ur computer a hand job?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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