Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
