i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
