So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize